Brides & Tattoos: Taboo or Art?

Question: what comes to mind when you see guy or gal...(or to keep this wedding-related, a bride) covered in tattoos? Are you repulsed by the amount of ink or do you appreciate the beauty of it? I personally go for the latter. Body modifications, including but not limited to tattoos, are a form of art that represents a persons individuality. The beauty a of tattoo is that it is permanent, and most of the time they also serve as a reminder of some part of your past. Unfortunately, society tends to frown upon anything that doesn't fit into this so-called ideology of the "norm". This bothers me immensely.

Tattoos should not only be accepted in the workplace, but on brides as well. A lot of women feel pressure to cover-up their tattoos. Whether this pressure comes from family members, co-workers, or whoever...it's ridiculous. Covering a tattoo for your wedding is the equivalent if wearing a mask to a business meeting. Whatever your opinion may be, personal expression should forever be appreciated - not looked down upon. Stereotypes in general disgust me. As the old saying goes, "never judge a book by it's cover". But who really does this right? The first thing we do by natural human instinct is form 5-second opinions / judgments based on first impressions. Don't let looks fool you though. A gorgeous woman could very well be the devil in disguise...and the guy with head to toe tats could very well be more inclined to save your butt in a sticky situation, as compared to the generally well-liked "suit". Men and women who grow up without privileges live to appreciate the things they have and they learn to understand loyalty and compassion better than the spoiled rich kid who's had everything handed to him/her since birth. Tattoos represent an underground, a mini-culture of people who thrive on individualism and stray from all things PC.

After all the above ranting, what I'm trying to get across is this...be yourself, and don't be too concerned about what other people think. Tattoos and piercings are not trashy, who cares what upper middle class (snobby) folks think. It's YOUR body, do what you want to it. Express yourself and don't be ashamed. Body art is beautiful, and it's YOUR taste that matters. Too many people are concerned with what others are going to think that they spend years worrying their little heads off until eventually they lose it (and eventually say eff it) and start to do what makes them happy. Don't spend your time trying to live up to everyone's expectations, you'll never make everyone happy. As Dr. Seuss once said, "Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter!"

On a side not: hiding a dumb or embarrassing tattoo is another story. That tribal band you got on your 18th birthday should go bye-bye. No offense intended.

Invitation Etiquette

Image courtesy of edytaszyszlo.com

Weddings are the embodiment of traditions and practice - all in the name of love of course! The walk down the aisle, the exchanging of vows, the celebration afterwards...all of this has been done for centuries before our time. (sorry, back to the point now:) So whether your reception is super formal or the opposite, there are customs and traditions that have been established to help you express your joy and excitement for your special occasion. And with that said, wedding invitation etiquette can become an intimidating subject for some folks. There are so many formalities involved! Who to invite? How to address the invitation? What titles should be used? What is an inner envelope? How to deal with uninvited guests? Am I supposed to spell out "four o'clock" or is it OK to simply write "4:00"? What is a pew card? AHHH!

Since info on the web can be sketchy sometimes, I've browsed through and found a few trustworthy sites that I hope will assist those in need!

Here they are:

The Knot - The Q&A section on invitations is lengthy and there are bulletin boards where you can post and search questions by other "knotties".

Real Simple - I like the advice here...Be creative but don't forget the essential information!

Buzzle - The Tips, Rules and Etiquette section is especially helpful.

Wedding Paper Divas - Plenty of information to help you gather ideas, become informed and plan your stationary needs.

Wedding Tips - I would suggest subscribing to the RSS feed for the daily tip of the day, there's nothing like learning something new every day.

Above and beyond all of this, your only true limitation is your imagination and you should have fun with the project of creating your wedding invites.

Read Me! Confessions of a Bad Wedding Guest

Read on below...

Last month, on a flight to a friend's wedding in Chicago, I sat next to someone even more clueless about weddings than I was: one of my fellow bridesmaids.“I bought these great open-toed sandals,” she cooed. “They match the dress perfectly! How about you?”Hmm, didn't she get the e-mail from the bride insisting we wear closed-toe pumps? Turns out she hadn't gotten her dress altered either ("It'll be fine!"). Plus she'd forgotten to RSVP to some of the wedding-weekend events. And she was shocked to hear that I'd gone to the trouble of preparing a toast for the rehearsal dinner. In short, she was a disaster. But I had to smile. She was just like I used to be.

Before I got engaged last May, I'd broken every rule of wedding thoughtfulness. It wasn't that I didn't care about the bride and groom or that having good manners wasn't important to me. I consider myself a caring friend: I send thank-you notes promptly, I never show up to a housewarming empty-handed. But somehow, the world of proper wedding behavior had eluded meIt wasn't until I started receiving piles of lovely engagement presents (before we'd even decided to have an engagement party) that I realized I should have given some myself. And it wasn't until my own bridal shower, when friends who couldn't attend made sure they still had gifts waiting for me at the hostess' home, that I learned I should've done so, too. I'd actually arrived at one friend's "game theme" shower with a waffle maker. She'd opened it, paused, and politely said, “Well, this will be a lot of fun to play with.”

I never bought off the registry, reasoning that personal gifts like, say, monogrammed robes, were more exciting than china. "What an original idea," brides would write in their thank-you notes. Now, after spending hours selecting items for my own registry, I find myself slightly miffed when guests don't use it. Why do they think I've gone to all that trouble? And that idea that it's acceptable to send gifts up to a year afterward? No one told me that, though technically acceptable, procrastinating until months after the wedding is disappointing for the bride and groom.

Occasionally, I'd forget to send in the response card until the bride's mother followed up. At the time, I didn't see the big deal. After all, I'd told the bride a million times I was coming! Now, after eagerly awaiting the mail each day so I can tear open those little cards and begin table arrangements, I marvel at my thoughtlessness. With the wedding a month away, I can't remember my vows, let alone which friends told me what. And when guests ask to bring dates, I bristle. Our numbers are so tight I couldn't invite some of my cousins. How could I squeeze in someone's new flame? But then I recall how once, days before a wedding I was in, I begged the bride to let me bring my new boyfriend — of six weeks.“Fine,” she snipped. “If it's really that important to you.”I spent the entire wedding locked in his arms, neglecting my bridesmaid duties.

Soon after, the boy was history, but I'm reminded of him and my poor judgment whenever I see the two of us in my friend's wedding photos.Ultimately she got over it; perhaps she'd committed her own faux pas, too, before she was a bride. Or maybe she just preferred to focus on the ways her day was special. I'm mortified by my past behavior, but thankful that this friend and others let it all slide. And now that I'm in their position, I'm trying to do the same. Don't get me wrong:

Having to e-mail guests for their RSVPs makes my blood boil. But I know that someday they'll be brides and grooms themselves and discover that there are actually pretty good reasons behind those wedding rules we've all (cluelessly) broken.

This content was written by Zibby Right and first appeared in Modern Bride magazine. For more weddings information, visit Brides.com